( I actually wrote this about a week ago)

Sometimes it hits me like a ton of bricks..my mum is gone. It has been 9 years and I don't miss her any less than I did the day she passed from my life. I remember clearly and vividly the moment she left us..it was the most profound and spiritual moment of my life.

To 4 girls she was everything to them their whole life. She was mum and dad and she did it against all odds. I only now know how hard her life had to have been and the sacrifices she made for her 4 daughters. I often look into the eyes of some of the women here and see her, see her struggle and her determination. I think that is why I am drawn to the fight of the women in this place, I think my soul identifies with them through my mum and the life I watched her live. I am often reminded of what "a little shit I was" (that what she would say.....LOL with all the love in the world) And I often wish I could change some things, say some things, have a few re-dos with my mum. Sometimes I want that so bad I ache.

My mother taught me many things but among them are:

Love your sisters

Don't give up on people, they just need some love

Life is hard but you keep going

There is always someone less fortunate than you and you should take care of them

Faith is about living not saying

There is a God

Women are strong

Family is the most important thing, you should be there for them

Food is therapy

Be proud of who you are

Speak your mind

don't be jealous

Don't lie

Be kind

You are not any better than anyone else

Care what people think

Work hard

Be dependable

Don't take yourself to seriously

old looking hands just mean you work hard

A few of these things have caused me problems in my life as I have grown and matured and figured a few things out...Let's take the "food is therapy one" enough said? But now staring down 50 I find wisdom in all of them. I am thankful for a mother who had the strength to live a very hard life and in the process instill in me the things that matter.

How I wish she were here to know Miles, Will, Maya, Mia, Kate they would love her and her them and they would be all the better for knowing her. I wish I could share my work with her, how I would love for her to be here with me! (although the trash would make her crazy!) I really think she would love it. Every now and then when I see a dragon fly go by I know she is here....

Life is full of loss and for some reason today I am feeling the loss of her in my life. I could use a little earlobe pinch right now.