Sunday, March 01, 2009
I'm a beggar
Yes it is true..I am one. One of the things that really REALLY sucks about being the director of a non-profit "business" is a little thing called ..... money. It is a constant issue, a constant need and one thing that really lowers you to nothing more than a beggar. All IT SEEMS I do is ask for money and I really hate it AND people seem to really hate to be asked, so it is a pit! There are a lot of reasons why I hate it so much; it implies failure, it implies dependance and it implies vulnerability. None of which I (most of us in fact) find endearing. HOWEVER all are things that are at the heart of my walk of faith. If I never expose my failures, I can never learn to do better to be better. If I never declare my dependance on God's mercy and grace, I will live a life void of the amazing love of God and will be unable to extend that love and grace in the world in which I live and move. If I never become vulnerable and step in to arenas that expose me, stretch me, I will never experience all that God has intended for me. It seems God often calls us to the things that are the least logical, least palatable, least comfortable. But it is through the journey that dependence, vulnerability, and through failure that God molds me, shapes me for His good purpose, which show the world the very heart of God.
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2 comments:
this is so true! Three things most of us don't want to have to experience. Some have it down to an art---that wall you talked about in one of your earlier blogs---that keeps the vulnerability away. You are amazing to me---and I pray for Mi Esperanza and all of your work each day. You all are in my prayer journal. :-) thanks for these great thoughts--
It was good to see you today. And, I hope you always a bit uncomfortable with asking for money. When asking and receving other people's money is easy and fun, then you are probably in the wrong profession.
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