2007 was a year I committed to not buying anything I did not need. It is over and 2008 is here and as I reflect I feel like it was a tremendous growing year for me.
Can I sit here and say I did it without exception...AHH NO!!! Did I justify things I bought that I shouldn't have...Duh!! And did I find it difficult to deny the things I really wanted, and thought I should have, disappointingly yes .
In the process I learned that the temptation comes and goes, for a reason. There were times I never thought much about it and times where all I wanted to do was buy something...anything really. I learned that if I stayed away from the stores and malls I was fine but if I put myself in the middle of the madness of consumerism I was sucked in so fast it was scary. I mean really scary!!! Our eyes bring into our soul a scary amount of distraction and desire that is contrary to the things of the spirit. The more I live among the madness the less I see that is real and holy.
If I worried about what others thought it was harder. I found that the thought that others would think "I didn't have because I couldn't have" was a powerful thing. To feel less than makes you buy more than. And I learned I don't like feeling less than.
Although my thought was to align myself with the poor. That was pretty naive and arrogant, because no matter what, I could never accomplish that objective. No matter how much I do without, I will never live where 85% of the world lives AND anyway I am to shallow to ever put myself [THERE] or be able to make it if I did!!!
As I tried to become more aware socially I learned that "ignorance is truly bliss". And life is sooooo much easier to live without a thought for those who live without the essentials of life.
People have asked me if it was hard, I say yes. But it is only because I have to fight to put aside a worldliness I have allowed to grow inside me that should have no place.
The things of the spirit are contrary to the desires of the this world and I will have to continue to fight to put away the selfishness within me that tells me "I deserve it or I am entitled to it..The Christ has called me to something different, to deny myself and care more about the least among us.
2 comments:
you continue to humble me and i am honored to know you...
this one kicked my butt cause even now, even here, it is way too easy to stop denying yourself and one day you look in the mirror and realize that the things you MOST wanted, who you MOST want to be, is still far away because I am buying into the world around me and all the junk I've picked up from it.
i look forward to journeying with you here and i pray God will continue to allow your life and your faith to teach and mentor us.
much love.
I love your insight and honesty Lori! Thanks for encouraging us all to be more than we are.
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