I feel like I have said it all a 1000 and 1 times but yet, it is what spills from my heart. Somedays I STILL can not wrap my mind around the life that people live.
I love my husband..I am beyond thankful that today he took Melvin and Onieda to the grocery store and "loaded up"...I couldn't have been more happy than if he given me a string of pearls or taken me on a romantic vacation. Can't explain it, I just feel so happy about it. He jokes a lot about "melvin, the money pit" I know he never thinks twice about the money that goes from us to them, but for him to do it with out me was so cool. He cares for people all the time nothing new for him, like i said can't explain it..
I am so worried about Yonni, a seventeen year boy with the burden of his family on his shoulders. I hope when he came home to a full refrig and food in the cocina he could breathe a bit easier for awhile, knowing they will eat not worrying if they will eat. I am so proud of the man he is..he could so easily say "screw it" and walk away, but he is working hard to provide for his siblings, a burden that is just not right. He is more a man than some "men" i know. When I think of the 14 year old boy I met over 3 years ago and how on the edge he was, scrambling for meaning and understanding of why his father AND mother died. Trying to understand a life of poverty while his sister was fighting for her life in the hospital, and only by the grace of God and His people moving in their lives, she too would be dead. Trying to understand "why" every thing, EVERYTHING is so damn hard and it never NEVER changes.
It's cold.. I talk about how "glorious" the weather is , well sure for me it is. I have the right clothes, a nice cozy house, everything i need to be comfortable. I looked around their house..do they all have a blanket..will they be warm. The house is damp and cold.
I stand outside looking around, dirty, hunger and cold children. Everyone trying to keep dry and warm, digging the mud from the massive rains from there houses trying to salvage their homes..The air is cold, the sun is dropping, how many of them will not be able to keep warm tonight? How many have prayers for God's intervention in the hopelessness they feel trying to simple survive day after day.
Somedays are just harder than others for me, but I am mindful that for some ALL days are hard.
1 comment:
and again you echo a cry from deep within my heart that you can't explain to so many other people with all the words you have at your disposal...crazy isn't it...seems like we ought to have something somewhere to articulate it...
thank you for continuing to speak up and out on their behalf...i find within your words my own voice so often.
blessings on your heart...keep serving and may we continue to be changed as we seek "to be the change we wish to see in the world."
love ya.
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