History

The past couple of days I have struggled with my feelings around the killing of Osama Bin Laden. When I first got wind that "something happened"..facebook status updates of course, I searched breaking news and found that he had indeed been found and killed. My first reaction was YES....oh, yes!! Finally! I watched the news, heard our president speak, and got emotional at the thought of 9/11 and the vivid memories I have, we all have. I don't have to tell you how I felt..we all felt it. We were all throw right back to where we stood 10 years ago, with the same ball in our stomach and tears in our eyes.

But as I watched and people began to gather in front of the White House and ground zero my mind shifted and my heart began to feel heavy....There was something wrong with what I was seeing. It send me back to the days that followed 9/11 and the pictures we saw of people in the streets of other countries who were celebrating the destruction of our cities and the death of people. Burning the american flag..chanting and cheering. And I thought....that is not who we are.

Do I breathe a little easier knowing this evil man no longer has control and influence in this world, absolutely. Am I happy to know that under "his hand" the world will never suffer another terrorist attack, absolutely. Am I happy for the peace that this event brings to many many people who have suffered beyond what I can know because of this man's distorted mind, absolutely. I believe this was justice.

What I also believe is that even though this action was necessary I know that I am a follower of The Christ who spoke words like "Forgive them Father" and "Love your enemies" I know TRUTH says the best weapon we have in any situation is love and the continuation of this event is just a reminder of how far we are from a world that is capable of love. It scares me when we engage in celebratory activity over death and darkness because we can only be drawn deeper into that darkness. God tells us choose love and when we don't?

One thing that continues to grow more difficult living away from family and friends is a feeling of isolation, with that said we just completed a visit with long time friends Frank and Krista Yurchak. We cannot begin to say a grand enough thank you for coming "to us," we are grateful for time and money sacrificed to make a visit possible. We are thankful for coming to uplift us, love us and fill our hearts. We feel this way whenever we have the

blessing of visitors, these visits keep us going and strengthened.

However, way beyond what these visits do for us we love being part of the work of HOPE. Whether it is bringing hope to the people of Honduras or it is for visitors to this place. Watching God work is an amazing show! There is one thing that is crystal clear, the relationship between the poor and visitors is a river of hope that flows in two directions...... simultaneously.

Water.....

.........Don't waste it.

Living in Honduras has taught me that. Human nature I guess, but until water is an issue for [me] like I might not have any, I don't really give it much thought. But once it affects ME well then, that is a different story.

This past week our cistern got really low..it is dry season and water is restricted. Not in the sense you can't water your yard, but in the sense you might not have water to bathe, flush your toilet, do laundry etc...

It is times like these that have made me become so aware of every drop of water I use.

An American taking a five-minute shower uses more water than a typical person in a developing country uses in a whole day.

Water is life. It is a natural recourse we take for granted.

In just one day, more than 200 million hours of women’s time is consumed for the most basic of human needs — collecting water for domestic use.

Every 20 seconds, a child dies from a water-related disease.

Billions of people need water, let's find ways to conserve and reduce our water use.

Hearty, Healthy and Yummy

Farro Salad with Tomatoes and Herbs

Recipe from Giada De Laurentiis cookbook

Ingredients

• 4 cups water
• 10 ounces farro (about 1 1/2 cups)
• 2 teaspoons salt, plus more to taste
• 1 pound tomatoes, seeded and chopped
• 1/2 sweet onion (recommended: Walla Walla) chopped
• 1/4 cup snipped fresh chives
• 1/4 cup finely chopped fresh Italian parsley leaves
• 1 large garlic clove, minced
• 2 tablespoons balsamic vinegar
• Freshly ground black pepper
• 1/4 cup extra-virgin olive oil

Directions

Combine the water and farro in a medium saucepan. Add 2 teaspoons of salt. Bring to a boil over high heat. Reduce the heat to medium-low, cover, and simmer until the farro is tender, about 30 minutes. Drain well, and then transfer to a large bowl to cool.

Add the tomatoes, onion, chives, and parsley to the farro, and toss to combine.

In a medium bowl, whisk together the garlic, vinegar, salt, pepper, and olive oil. Add the vinaigrette to the salad and toss to coat.

The salad can be refrigerated overnight. Bring to room temperature before serving.

Cooked Farro

Garlic and salt made into paste

Tomatoes and herbs

Finished Salad

Couple of notes: In my preparation I had to make a couple of alterations because of availability. I used regular parsley because I could not get flat leave today. There was also no chives so I left them out, but use them if you have access. I used red onion.

Quick side

This is a really quick side you can serve with grilled meat for a very fast but yummy dinner.

Zucchini and Red Pepper Couscous

1. In a med. saute pan cook till tender:

1 tblsp Olive Oil

1 med. zucchini quartered then sliced (you want small pieces)

1 small red bell pepper (small chop)

2. Prepare 1 cup of couscous according to package directions. I use chicken broth in place of the water. You could use vegetable broth if you're a vegetarian.

Add the couscous to the skillet and stir. Add some freshly grated parmesan cheese and cracked pepper.

You can add more chicken broth if you prefer a wetter couscous.

Note: You can also do the same with oven roasted broccoli and onions.

I was reading about St. Francis of Assisi today because I was reminded of a quote of his. "Preach the gospel at all time, and when necessary use words." This is part of what I read;

Francis' birth name was Giovanni. He was the son of a wealthy cloth merchant in Assisi, and he lived the high-spirited life typical of a wealthy young man, even fighting as a soldier for Assisi. While going off to war in 1204, Francis had a vision that directed him back to Assisi, where he lost his taste for his worldly life.

Francis heard a sermon that changed his life. The sermon was about Matthew 10:9, in which Christ tells his followers they should go forth and proclaim that the kingdom of heaven was upon them, that they should take no money with them, nor even a walking stick or shoes for the road. Francis was inspired to devote himself to a life of poverty.

I was thinking about this this morning as I was cooking pancakes for Melvin, Yoni and Christian and I thought maybe this is exactly what conversion is, Maybe it is a complete turn around and "loss" of taste for a previous life. I know you must be thinking ...well, of course Lori it is a complete turn around, isn't that what a conversion is?...and I would answer yes, but hear me out, how different are we? What about our life really changes? I think that if we really changed in a way that caused us to care about the things that God cares about, it, we would look really different, completely different. I am not making light of the changes we do make, But, I am afraid our lives really do not look very different from the world around us. I do not think we have "lost our taste" for this world, in a way we could leave it all behind. There are to many things we love, hold to and embrace that keep attached to this world.

Side note:

St Francis of Assisi probably best know for his famous prayer:

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury,pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.


O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. Amen

Cooking Magazines....

I love them, they don't pile up like they use to, how ever I do seem to attract them. It is usually one the first things I do in Houston airport. I go to the closest news stand and by Food Network, Martha Stewart, Cooking Light and Runner's World. The runner's world makes me feel like not such a nerd.

I scour every page, check the recipes for ingredients to determine if could make it in Honduras, I ooh and ahhhh and love every

page! I usually read through them more than once. I make note of the recipes I think I might like to try ....However they eventually end up in a basket, and there they stay. After time I can't remember what I wanted in each one, and I really do not want to go back through all of them trying to remember so they stay in the basket....

About 6, 8 10 oh, I don't know how many years ago, I started a binder of ideas from christmas magazines. I would pull the pages of decorating, table settings, recipes, gift wrapping ideas I liked and I put them in plastic sheet protectors in a binder. My theory was to take what I liked so I would remember but not have mounds of magazines, (which are mostly adds anyway..sorry pet peeve). See the thing is I am waayyy to OCD to tear them out and just fold them up and stick them in my recipe box..oh my no..um nope! So I started a binder! I have a Thanksgiving section and a Christmas section..I KNOW I AM SUCH A NERD!!! Everything is easy to see, easy to use. And the best thing... all NEAT and in one place and no more piles of magazines!

So I recently decided to do the same with "rest of the year" magazines.

Maybe this will help you, or all you get from this is a deeper look at my nerdy self. But, all I can say is my daughter use to laugh at my holiday binder, YEP NOW SHE HAS ONE TOO!!!

The Front (just liked this pic, reminds me of home)

Glimpses of the inside

Confession Time

Ok I am going to tell you something I am a little embarrassed about. Tonight I was googling about the upcoming royal wedding...No, wait that is not it, stop laughing, don't judge!!!.

Of course a zillion photos came up of the royal couple and I got a look at Kate's ring...Ok here it is ~ I knew by looking at it that it was once diana's ring~

How do I know that??!!!! Maybe it is because I can remember watching Diana & Charles wedding on TV, I remember her big pooffy dress, her cascading flowers, that loooong isle she walked down, I remember her train coming down the stairs as she exited St. Paul's Cathedral , I remember the carriage ride through the streets of London and I remember her ring.

In my defense it was 1981 I was 20 years old and I guess still believed in grand fairytales......

.......Then, I did not know the world I do now.

Man-go get um

It is the season for MANGOS!

Hope you enjoy this as much as I do, cause

if I am going to OD on anything it will be this!

Let me suggest you serve it over chicken, pork or fish. It is also get as a dip with chips.

Real easy and oh, so yummy! IF my memory serves me correctly it is an adaption from a Bobby Flay recipe. Again, not science, add as much or as little of anything to suit your taste.

recipe:

4 ripe mangos cubed (the skin should look like a sunset)

4 scallions sliced

2 jalapeno peppers small dice this, one with seeds and one without

cilantro 1/2 cup of chopped

1 lime juice only

1 tblsp honey However if the Mangos are perfectly ripe and sweet you can leave this out.

3 twists of the pepper grinder

Mix it all together!

How to cut a mango

1. Cut down both side of the large pit in the middle

2. with the halves. Score it into cubes

3. Push the half inside out and slice off cubes

Health benefits of Mangoes

• Mango fruit is rich in pre-biotic dietary fiber, vitamins, minerals and poly-phenolic flavonoidantioxidant compounds.

• According to new research study, mango fruit has been found to protect against colon, breast, leukemia and prostate cancers. Several trial studies suggest that polyphenolic anti-oxidant compounds in mango are known to offer protection against breast and colon cancers.

• Mango fruit is an excellent source of Vitamin-A and flavonoids like beta-carotene, alpha-carotene,and beta-cryptoxanthin. 100 g of fresh fruit provides 765 mg or 25% of recommended daily levels of vitamin A. Together, these compounds are known to have antioxidant properties and are essential for vision. Vitamin A is also required for maintaining healthy mucus membranes and skin. Consumption of natural fruits rich in carotenes known to protect body from lung and oral cavity cancers.

• Fresh mango is a very rich source of potassium. Potassium in an important component of cell and body fluids that helps controlling heart rate and blood pressure.

• It is also a very good source of vitamin-B6 (pyridoxine), vitamin-C and vitamin-E. Consumption of foods rich in vitamin C helps body develop resistance against infectious agents and scavenge harmful oxygen free radicals. Vitamin B-6 or pyridoxine is required for GABA hormone production in the brain. It also controls homocystiene levels in the blood which may otherwise be harmful to blood vessels resulting in CAD and stroke.

• Copper is a co-factor for many vital enzymes, including cytochrome c-oxidase and superoxide dismutase (other minerals function as co-factors for this enzyme are manganese and zinc). Copper is also required for the production of red blood cells.

diet treadmill and jumping off

I have been on the diet treadmill since I was in my twenties...Up and down..let's be honest mostly up. But because I have been in this arena for 3 decades I have some understandings..although you could argue I don't know a thing if I have been at this for so long...so you can take this or leave it.....

I always find it interesting when you lose weight people will ask you "how are you doing it?" wanting of course a magic answer that will make the daunting task easy, fast and maybe even fun! They always seem quite dismayed when you say "diet and exercise"...like you have completely disappointed them that you have not discovered the secret of the universe.

But it is the truth, it is hard, it takes discipline...it comes off way harder than it goes on AND not nearly as fun!

So here is what I know:

exercise is essential: find something you enjoy to do

processed food is bad

there are good carbs

calories in... calories out

drinking water does a body good

grazing is bad

there are good snacks

once you rid your body of the addiction to things like processed sugar, "white" foods, fried food, soda etc you WILL NOT crave it (as much)

a guilty pleasure treat is ok every once in awhile (let me just say ICE CREAM)

once you start moving you will want to move more

starving yourself does not work

totally depriving yourself will back fire

plan your eating, you won't get caught at the drive through

having a snack? put the amount you want to eat in a bowl and put the bag or box away.

it is helpful to keep a food journal

learn what a serving of food is; a serving of meat, a serving of cereal, a serving of fruit. You will be surprised!

eat the rainbow and I don't mean lucky charms

exercise will give you more energy

Book Review

Evolving in Monkey Town by: Rachel Held Evans

A taste of the book: "evolution within the souls of individuals happens everyday, when we adapt our faith to change. Evolution means letting go of our false fundamentals so that God can get into those shadowy places we're not sure we want Him to be. It means being okay with being wrong, okay with not having all the answers, okay with never being finished.

Some of my favorite quotes from the book:

"as soon as you're able to step into someone else's shoes or look at the world from a different perspective, everything you believe becomes less certain, or at least less black and white"

" I never realized how important hope is to belief"

"we don't choose our world views they are chosen for us"

"Being a christian, it seemed, isn't about agreeing to a certain way; it is about embodying a certain way, It is about living as an incarnation of Jesus, as Jesus lived as an incarnation of God. It is about being Jesus..in tennis shoes"

"And yet the widows and orphans I met in India were actually less angry with God than I was. In fact, they loved him in a way I couldn't quite understand."

"It's not up to some politician to represent my Christian values to the world; it's up to me"

"Love is bigger than faith, and it's bigger than works, for it inhabits and transcends both."

"Love, It's that simple and that profound. It's that easy and that hard"

Am I glad I read it? Yes

Would I recommend it to you? Yes

Often the process of faith is hard and leaves me in midsts of doubt and with more questions than I have answers. Often shaking up everything I thought I knew and when the dust settles a new view has appeared. That is what monkey town is about. Coming to place that calls in question if Jesus is in my head or my heart.

Black Bean and Corn Salad

Ok I am a firm believer that a recipe is only as good as the ingredients you put in it. Use canned brands that stand on their own and only really fresh produce and good olive oil. I really prefer rice wine vinegar with this. It is a clean light flavor.

This is what I threw together to eat with chicken tonight. It's really fresh tasting! There is no science to this. Add more or less of something if you want.

1 can of black beans, drained
1 can of corn, drained (2 cups of fresh off the cob is better but this works fine)
1/2 a med. red bell pepper chopped small
1 med. tomato (seeds removed) chopped small
2/3 scallions sliced

2 tbsp olive oil
1 tbsp rice wine vinegar
S & P
Mix it all together!!!

In a 16x16 wooden box they called a house, tucked away by a riverbed down a footpath road in a forgotten community in Honduras far from the conscience of the world lived a family.....of children. One of those an eight year old boy, left with no mommy. Alone with 5 siblings in a world that on a good day has little security. I can only imagine the fear, sadness and loneliness he had to be feeling. My chest gets tight when I think of it sometimes.

I lost my mom when I was a grown women. I remember the moment she left this world as if it were yesterday and daily I miss her. I remember feeling like an orphan when she died. I remember thinking "I am no ones daughter" and how lonely that felt. How abandoned I felt.

I remember looking across a concrete room into these beautiful brown eyes attached to a dirty face on a body with dirty clothes and little dirty feet with no shoes. I remember an instant feeling of connection, a moment of "Oh, there you are my love. I don't know who you are but you are part of my heart" It has been many years and our lives are still intertwined and I hurt sometimes when I think of that little boy. I hurt for his pain and lose and his feeling of abandonment, which based off of my own experience still feels everyday.

sometimes I am overwhelmed how God works and His decision to dance with us and create the most amazing love story of His world. I am overwhelmed by His love and care and His

heart for the very smallest and seemingly insignificant parts of His creation.

In this story I fall in love with the God that held the little soul of an eight year old boy in his hands. Feeling all of his fear, sadness and loneliness and ordained a divine meeting that would change two lives forever. Why I was part of this dance I do not know but I am thankful.

Wellness

What I am coming to embrace about exercise is I am really talking about wellness. And this may be the first time in my life. I have always viewed and used exercise as a means to an end, to lose weight, sometimes successfully, sometimes not and NEVER permanent.

Exercise is really about fitness and holistic wellness, mind, body and spirit. I was reminded of this this week when I received a message from a friend who was encouraging me in my running. Fitness no matter what you choose not only achieves and maintains a healthy body weight but it also builds a strong body that gains physical endurance and is better to fight illness, disease and resist injury. It builds a strong mind that provides clarity of thought, confidence and determination that flows to all areas of my life and it builds a strong spirit that connects me to God, creation and myself. It controls stress, anger and anxiety.

I know lots of thin people who do not have healthy bodies, minds or spirits, so my goal is no longer solely to lose weight but to build a better self.

So the number on the scale and the number on the tag in my jeans becomes less stressful and less important, because it is about more than that, way more than that. Of course as those numbers decrease there is much happiness BUT the great part is the person stepping on that scale and pulling on those jeans is healthy and whole and looking great is just icing on the cake!

Something that is really disturbing to me is when someone/anyone when talking about doing work in the name of The Christ uses words like I, me, & my. Don't these type of words just negate the words "in the name of The Christ?" That's all.

Today was one of those days when I got really discouraged running, that hasn't happened often but today my mind got the best of me. The run was hard from the first step, I struggled through most of it and came to two realizations:

1. In order to move ahead more weight loss needs to happen. So I buckle down shed more pounds and then #2 may change in ways I can't see right now.

2. I may never be the runner in [my mind] I hope to be, I may run but maybe never be a "runner." I don't see much progress happening at the moment but only time will tell where this will ultimately go. I am NOT giving up, don't read THAT. I am willing to keep working at this because I like where I have already journeyed to and want to continue down this road. Just stuck right now I guess.

So there you have it!

So I am learning how to better use my music for better running. I learned I naturally move to the tempo of my music, so just picking songs I like doesn't always work, I tend to like depressing music I've been told. So I recently changed my playlist to songs all with a similar tempo to help pick up my pace and keep it up. I made a decision not to alter my time for now but try to up my pace and quick temp music helps me to do that. So in that, I am learning to embrace, to look forward to and not be afraid of the burning of my lungs (said with a sigh and the rolling of the eyes) Trying to push a little harder and challenge my ability, I will let you know how that works for me!

My new favorite running song..Stay The Night James Blunt

( I actually wrote this about a week ago)

Sometimes it hits me like a ton of bricks..my mum is gone. It has been 9 years and I don't miss her any less than I did the day she passed from my life. I remember clearly and vividly the moment she left us..it was the most profound and spiritual moment of my life.

To 4 girls she was everything to them their whole life. She was mum and dad and she did it against all odds. I only now know how hard her life had to have been and the sacrifices she made for her 4 daughters. I often look into the eyes of some of the women here and see her, see her struggle and her determination. I think that is why I am drawn to the fight of the women in this place, I think my soul identifies with them through my mum and the life I watched her live. I am often reminded of what "a little shit I was" (that what she would say.....LOL with all the love in the world) And I often wish I could change some things, say some things, have a few re-dos with my mum. Sometimes I want that so bad I ache.

My mother taught me many things but among them are:

Love your sisters

Don't give up on people, they just need some love

Life is hard but you keep going

There is always someone less fortunate than you and you should take care of them

Faith is about living not saying

There is a God

Women are strong

Family is the most important thing, you should be there for them

Food is therapy

Be proud of who you are

Speak your mind

don't be jealous

Don't lie

Be kind

You are not any better than anyone else

Care what people think

Work hard

Be dependable

Don't take yourself to seriously

old looking hands just mean you work hard

A few of these things have caused me problems in my life as I have grown and matured and figured a few things out...Let's take the "food is therapy one" enough said? But now staring down 50 I find wisdom in all of them. I am thankful for a mother who had the strength to live a very hard life and in the process instill in me the things that matter.

How I wish she were here to know Miles, Will, Maya, Mia, Kate they would love her and her them and they would be all the better for knowing her. I wish I could share my work with her, how I would love for her to be here with me! (although the trash would make her crazy!) I really think she would love it. Every now and then when I see a dragon fly go by I know she is here....

Life is full of loss and for some reason today I am feeling the loss of her in my life. I could use a little earlobe pinch right now.

Missing

Homesickness and I are good friends..not so much because I am always homesick, but I am prone to it and have been my whole life. When I was younger and even through my teen years I didn't much like sleep overs, I had a hard time being away from my Mum. Even now I am good for about a week away from Mark and I start to melt down, literally. So I guess homesickness for me has always been about people, not a place.

I remember one occasion, I must have been 10ish and I went on a camping trip with my best friend and her family to New Hampshire. The only memory I have of that trip is how homesick I was the entire time. I really thought I was going to die, literally, I felt that miserable. I don't know if the family I was with knew, I was a suffer in silence kinda kid. But, one evening we were at the local grocery that was right beside the Saco River Camp Ground where we were staying and we ran into my aunt Peggy (she had moved to that area and we would too in a few years) and all I can remember is falling into her arms sobbing. I guess that gave it away. I remember finding so much comfort in the arms of family.

That is really all I can remember from that trip, not all the cool stuff I am sure we did....

I have been homesick the last few days...I miss my kids, I miss my babies, I miss my mum and I miss my sisters. I have been unable to find a cure for this, it just seems to come and go with no real rhyme or reason. I don't like it, it kind puts me in a funk and tends to make me pull inward. It is bouts of this that I can if I let myself feel sorry for myself and wondering about some of the decisions I have made through the years that have put me in a different country than my family. However, when I can think clearly and see not through the lens of self pity but through the lens of reality, I wouldn't change a thing, really. So I guess I take these days, weeks as they come and know they will pass.

But one thing I know is true, if nothing else (but there is much more), my mother instilled in me a very deep sense of family and the importance of those relationships. So much so that time without physical interaction leaves an emptiness inside me. For that I am forever thankful and grateful. Even if it is debilitating sometimes!

In the box

A couple of days ago I was at the Mi Esperanza center with the sewing class. It was the day after we unloaded a container of donations from the US and this large box was sitting outside the bodega. One of the sewing students got my attention and said (in spanish of course) "Can I have that box? I can use it as a new room on my house." I started laughing and said something silly kinda blowing her off, and then I realized that she was not kidding. My heart fell to the bottom of my stomach....

2 things:

I am really happy Mi Esperanza exists. I love being part of giving women an opportunity to change their circumstances and have the opportunity for long term change.

I really don't like the fact that this is reality for someone. As I right I am in my very comfortable home surrounded by all the stuff that makes it comfortable with space to spare. She however was looking at a box, as an expansion to her house. Shane Claiborne wrote "God did not make a mistake and create to many people and not enough stuff" and Ghandi penned the quote "There is enough in the world for everyone's need; there is not enough for everyone's greed."

I think this is it, no? We take far more for ourselves than we should, than is right. God created us to be in community with Him and with each other. His idea (if I may take the liberty) was for us to live looking out for each other. But instead we have become selfish and taken far more than our fair share and left others to flounder and live to merely survive.

I don't say this to make you or I feel guilty about who or what we are (but, maybe some of that is in order) but I do say it to say we can change that reality if we choose. We can make a difference in the life of someone, of many, if we choose to be less selfish, if we choose to change our mind set which says "all I gain and achieve is for me," but rather look to see where we can alleviate suffering and hunger in a world that is suffering.

Did you know that statistically 70% (ish) of what we buy is no longer in use 6 months after we buy it? Could we choose better, longer lasting ways to spend our resources, God's resources? That would have longer satisfaction?

This I know to be true.... something needs to change so that no ones reality says "a house expansion=a card board box."